


What comes next

by DestielIsFuckinReal



Series: Season 14 codas and speculations [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mary knows, Season/Series 14 Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 00:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16357313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielIsFuckinReal/pseuds/DestielIsFuckinReal





	What comes next

Sam rushes through the door, frantic. Castiel can feel the trouble in his soul along with another presence, another soul that's not Bobby's nor Mary's. This soul is old, known, but battered, just one step to being broken forever. Castiel walks to the main room just in time to see Sam easing Dean down the stairs. He gets a good look at Dean's soul, it's not as bright as it used to, it's weaker, it trembles with fear, fear of Michael, fear of what he did to it and Dean. It breaks Castiel's heart.

Jack joins some seconds later, Castiel feels rage in his now fully human soul and stops him before he can do something stupid, shaking his head minutely when the boy looks at him in confusion. They both walk to the table where Sam made Dean sit, Mary is fussing over her older son, looking for scars. She doesn't know they're more internal than she thinks though.

Dean is leaning on the chair, eyes closed, one hand clutching his brother's and the other one his mother's.

Sam looks up when Castiel is close enough, a painful expression on his face.

«He's gone» he says, answering Sam's silent question, «I don't feel him»

«Cas?» Dean says, opening his eyes. There are tears threatening to fall, «Cas, please, help me»

Castiel crouches next to him. «I'm here, Dean»

Dean's eyes are pleading, «Remember what you did to Lisa and Ben?» he asks. Behind his back, Mary exchanges a curious look with Sam, who shrugs her off.

«You want me to erase your memories of Michael?» Castiel asks with a tilt of his head.

Dean nods, a tear that finally escaped rolling down his cheek, «He made me watch Cas, he made me see everything he did. Please, get in my head»

Castiel stands up, walking behind Dean's chair. Sam moves to give him space but Mary stays there, holding her son's hand still. Castiel puts his hands on Dean's head, slightly running his fingers through his hair and Dean relaxes a fraction, though he's still scared.

Castiel focuses, searching through Dean's memories for what Michael did and made him do, experimenting on monsters, killing innocents, it's horrible. He also finds memories that never happened, of them together, with Sam, Mary, and Jack, happy scenes turning dark a moment later, the signature of Michael torturing a soul.

Dean sighs when Castiel raises his hands, slumping forward. He's still trembling and Castiel thinks it's because of his sobs, but only in part. With Sam and Castiel's help, Dean sits straight again, Mary leans in and kisses his temple.

«You should sleep, honey» she says. Dean just nods and gets dragged by Sam to his room. Once the brothers are out, Mary turns to Castiel and Jack.

«Come, I'll fill you guys in» she says walking to the library.

◝✦◟ ◞✦◜ ◝✦◟ ◞✦◜ ◝✦◟

«This doesn't make sense» Jack says when Mary finishes her story, «he can't be gone like this»

Mary shrugs, «It seems fishy to me too»

«He probably has a plan, like... like, I don't know, maybe he's making us let our guards down and that's when he'll attack» Jack says in a rush and, before either Cas or Mary can say anything, he's up and walking out the room mumbling something about needing his computer.

«Jack» Castiel calls, but Mary's hand on his arm stops him to go after the kid. He turns back to Mary, she has a soft and tired look on her face, «Go to him, I'll handle Jack»

«But...» he protests, but Mary insists, «Go to him, Cas»

Castiel nods at last and walks to Dean's room. He finds Sam closing the door.

«Sam» he says, «how is he?»

The young man sighs, «Not good, he's in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Are you sure...»

«I erased all his memories of what Michael did and even the illusions he played to him» Castiel interrupts, «I think it's about his soul»

«His soul, what do you mean?»

«It's... Battered, broken» Castiel replies, «less bright than before»

There's a minute of silence before Sam asks, careful, «Is there something you, _we_ , can do?»

Castiel shakes his head, «I don't know, I hope we'll find a way»

Sam runs one hand through his hair, «Ok ok, I'll go see if I can find anything in the books» he says, patting Castiel on his back on his way.

Castiel sees Sam round the corner, then he takes a deep breath and knocks softly on Dean's bedroom door. He walks in without waiting for an invitation, Dean is staring at the ceiling like Sam said, his hands joined on his stomach.

«Hey» Castiel tries.

Dean doesn't reply.

Castiel walks to the chair of the desk and sits down, facing Dean. If it's time what he needs, Castiel is going to give it to him.

After what seems like hours Dean speaks, «What is gonna happen to me now, Cas?»

«Nothing if we can help it» Castiel stands up, walking closer, «we... _I_ will do everything in my power to keep you safe, Dean»

New tears fall from Dean's eyes, «I don't deserve you Cas, any of you»

«Yes, you do» Castiel says, sitting on the bed.

Silence stretches between them once more before Castiel speaks again, «Dean, I... What Michael did to you, what he showed you... About us, you and me...» he is afraid to touch this topic, because of how Dean could react, but now that he saw it, that he _knows_ he's not alone in this, he has to ask. He swallows, «We had a family, we were happy. Is that what you want?»

There's a moment when Dean doesn't answer and Castiel is afraid he crossed the line, but then Dean reaches out and takes Castiel's hand in his.

«You know,» he says, drawing random circles on Castiel's hand, without looking at him, «I've heard about Archangels torturing you with scenes, moments, you wish so bad but then fucking them up, remembering you that it's not real. I bet he did with me too... What I'm saying is, we could never get the apple pie life but I would at least have part of it, if you want» he looks up at Castiel then, «You saw them, you know what I mean»

«I want that too» Castiel says softly.

Dean smiles for the first time since he came back, a little thing but it lights up his soul some. Dean scoots over, dragging Castiel down by his hand and rearranges them so his head lays on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel's arm finds its place around Dean's shoulders and he brings him as close as they can.

«I'm scared, Cas» Dean says after few moments.

Castiel kisses his forehead, «I'm here Dean, I won't let anything happen to you»

«I love you» Dean says around a yawn.

«I know» Castiel hides a smile in Dean's hair, «I love you too»


End file.
